


Night Terrors

by cherrybrandybuck



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Shepard (Mass Effect) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 01:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13940079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrybrandybuck/pseuds/cherrybrandybuck
Summary: Calliope Shepard's traumatic experiences haunt her dreams, luckily the sweetest asari in the galaxy is by her side for comfort.Minor injury/anxiety/panic/ptsd references and description- nothing graphic but a trigger warning just in case!





	Night Terrors

               The ship is a husk around me, the gravity is gone, and Joker’s escape pod is soaring off to safety- I hope. The explosion pushes me into open space and beyond the flames of the Normandy. Weightless, I fly out of reach of anything that could save me. As my suit slowly decompresses, leeching oxygen until I choke with every attempt at breath I fall, or maybe I float into the abyss with nothing but a planet below me. Something inside me breathes her name, **Liara** , and her face passes across my vision as the desperate scrambling to grab onto something, anything so that I can get back to her, outweighs any other instinct I may have. The last words I say to her **“Go, now”** aren’t enough. I haven’t even told her I love her yet. The last of the oxygen leaks out of my suit and I feel the pressure simultaneously swell and press against my body, like I’m being stretched and flattened all at once. My air is gone, the skin under my suit feels as though it’s beginning to blister, and my vision is darkening. My slowing heartbeat throbs in my ears, the only sound against the infinite crushing silence of space. I want to cry, to scream or beg for help. Instead I sink into the silence, and I see no more.

_________

               A surge of adrenaline forces me upright and for a moment I’m sure I’m back at the Cerberus lab. A hand touches my shoulder, though I jerk away reflexively and expect the sting of a needle. The hand returns- a soft sky blue with an even softer touch- and pulls me back. Liara brushes the sweat-soaked hair from my face and tries to calm my breathing.

               “You’re in your cabin, you’re safe. Just another nightmare.” Her voice is husky from sleep, but just as gentle as ever. The room around me becomes clearer; not the Cerberus lab but my own messy quarters with clothes on the floor and my small horde of fish along the wall. Still shaking and struggling to breathe, I focus on loosening the knot in my chest.   
               “Not just a nightmare. A flashback. Spaced again.” My words are half-choked, but she heard me well enough to understand. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she shifted closer beside me and rested one hand on my back and used the other to give me something to hold on to. A few minutes passed and while I could breathe easier, the knot still hung heavy beneath my ribcage. Compared to the silence of the vacuum my cabin practically sung with various noises: the constant hum of the Normandy engines, faint bubbling from my aquarium, and whispered reassurances from the Asari next to me.

               After the knot loosened and I felt safe again, Liara lay me down and held me against her chest. She combed her fingers through my hair despite my weak protests about how sweaty I was, whilst I fought off sleep. Not ready to face the darkness just yet.  
               “I wish there was a way I could prevent your flashbacks. You’ve been through too much as it is.” She sighed, and from the slight waver in her voice I knew that she was holding back tears,  
               “This is enough. You pull me back to reality, take away the fear and help me recover. You bring me home again.” I murmur back, feeling suddenly guilty for my vulnerability. I’m Commander Shepard, and she isn’t supposed to lie awake, having panic attacks and crying about her dreams. Shepard is a brave warrior who stands alone against the Reapers. Sometimes it felt as though “Shepard” and I were two different people.  
               “Don’t. I know what you’re thinking, and I want you to stop.” Her tone was less of a command, and more of an empathetic plea. Melding had blurred the lines between our emotions, often I’d sense what she felt and vice versa. The ultimate way of understanding your partner, and right now she could read me like an open book.

  
               “I’m supposed to be a hero. People look up to me, and here I am crying like a frightened child. I need to be more than this.” As I spoke the hand stroking my hair slowed, and I heard her heart rate pick up slightly.  
               “You are more than what they think of you. They see what the Alliance shows them, the exact amount they need to see to be inspired. But even so, nobody expects you to be bulletproof. You’re flesh and blood, not a combat mech.” She lifts my chin until I look up at her, tears rimming my already sob-swollen eyes.

               “I can’t be what they need. I can’t be their hero. Look at me, I can’t even sleep right let alone save a galaxy. This isn’t what they need. If the people saw me-“  
               “They’d see a person. Not a symbol, or a Spectre. They’d see Shepard, who feels deeply and would do anything to save someone in trouble, even if it means endangering herself in the process. But more importantly they’d see my Calliope who sings in the shower, and works herself until she passes out filling in reports so that her crew can have an extra hour of rec time.” She held my face with both hands, shifting herself slightly lower down the bed so that we were at eye level. Her gaze passed over my face as though she was taking the time to memorise every feature. I move to say something, but she continues.  
               “My Callie who drools when she sleeps and makes sure the first and last thing she says to me each day is ‘I love you’. You may have a hard head, but you have a soft heart, and that’s what makes you their hero. If it wasn’t for your compassion then you wouldn’t have achieved as much as you have.” Her reassurances came alongside rhythmic strokes on my neck from one of her hands, and though it went against every instinct I had to not argue, I was thankful for everything she had said. As much as I’m sure some would say it’s ‘Asari Wisdom’ putting things in perspective, it was solely down to Liara who knew every part of me like the notes to her favourite song.

               “If they don’t like this me, at least I know you do. Puffy eyes, sweaty hair and all.” I chuckle half-heartedly, and her eyes crease at the corners as she returned my smile. Our foreheads pressed together, and I let my weight sink into the bed and into her.  
               “You’ll always be my hero, whether you’re on the battlefield or holding onto me as you go through a flashback. I love every moment of you that you share with me. Even the difficult ones.” She says, and then kisses me softly. Even though this whole nightmare-reassurance routine was sure to happen again, for now I felt safe and relaxed. Holding Liara close and silently thanking the universe for sending such a beautiful soul such as her to me, I let myself grow sleepy.

               I didn’t dream for the rest of the night, and that was welcomed. Then when our alarms went off in the morning, I woke with a smile and cherished the way Liara ruffled my bird’s-nest bed hair. The path I walked was tougher and more devastating than anything I could ever have imagined, but as long as she was by my side I knew that I could get through it. As long as I could fall into her arms at the end of the day, I would never fear the coming night.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after having my own flashback/nightmare a few weeks ago, and playing mass effect to cheer myself up afterwards gave me some inspo for a one-shot starring my favourite space wives.  
> This is the first bit of fanfiction I've ever actually finished and posted, so constructive criticism is welcomed. I'd like to make writing and posting a regular thing, so watch this space!


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